My own foolishness of choice!!!


There were days when I sat and thought if I’d ever receive any help!!!! Ya I learnt it hard way that life is full of mazes and puzzles while I was here, stuck in a maze at a dead end .I always did what most of us do. I kept asking myself Why me!!!!

I always did fail to ask myself another question !!! Why not me !!! I know it puzzles some of you to why I should have thought so. Here I was facing one of the biggest challenges of my education phase, stuck in a situation that was affecting me badly.The world is filled up to the brim with more serious problems like poverty and hunger , I do not wish to put my tiny complaint high above them all and so  I  shall not discuss my situation here in detail…

I was here fighting against one organisation and the situation was getting more and more like Me Vs Them

During the initial stages of my fight I always asked myself the wrong question,

“why me?”

I wasn’t looking at how many ways the problem was helping me.I was fighting against the organisation everyday but everyday was another war for me against my flaws.

I was trying to better myself every minute I spent there. Why ????
I dint want to give them even a single chance against me .

I started taking my hobbies more seriously. I started improving at a pace where  my family even thought I might end up shifting my career to being a photographer than a therapist. 

One day I stop and look back at all those sleepless nights I cried out on the pillows to why I was the only one who is suffering.I am surprised at the progress I’ve made. I am surprised at how best the problem has chiselled my talents.

How “the problem” nurtured me carefully like a mother from an immature rebel kid to a mature independent young lady.

The problem for me at a time was everything that associated me with that place. Everything that sent me back to that place.

The situation, the people who were responsible for it, the people who had the power but refused to help me!!!

But when I started looking for a solution with more desperate measures, I realised the solution was within me!

I was not noticing what the problem was helping me become!

There were days I got kicked at in my study place! There were days my things went missing at the right time I needed them. All these caused me a lot of pain though not physically the trauma was badly cutting through my heart.

It all hurt me because I wasn’t in a situation to question them back.

There came a day when someone told me it was the rule of life… the rule of karma!

I was supposedly doing my share of karma that i chose for before god put me onto this earth.I was to do my share of suffering to enjoy my share of happiness.I will not categorise it under any name, religious , spiritual or superstitious belief.. I will only call it a belief!!!! For all the reasons and explanations that I received from countless people when I approached them for help this one made a lot of sense to me!

But everytime I started analysing and linking up one good incident and one bad challenge I was facing, I was enjoying the analogy more and smiling at my own foolishness of choice rather than feel bad!

I chose to get kicked in exchange of a DSLR????? (That is one of the best gifts I ever received!!) OMG!!! What was I doing when God gave me that MCQ sheets to choose the Good and Bad incidents of life!!

The problem hasn’t vanished even today … No miracles took place! No saviour angel appeared!!!

Every time I face a blow at that place! I wait a second and recollect one best thing that is right now happening in my life and I end up laughing at my own foolishness of choice!!! 

The power of laughter and happiness gives me double the strength to stand up against them yet another time.I wonder it still pisses them off to how I am still Happy 😀



6 thoughts on “My own foolishness of choice!!!

  1. Mallikaaaaaa says:

    U are pretty much a reflection of my feelings. In fact, there were days when i looked back to recollect the best things happening to me.. I failed cos my happiness was submerged in the whirlpool of problems. Nevertheless, Its worth it. Its better to suffer early and cope up. I am happier today. I wait for my turn cos i know if i hurry up i am being greedy to be happy. I strongly believe in karma and whatever happens , happens for a reason…


  2. @lazybug 🙂 tht i shall do when am out of tht place!!! 🙂
    @mallika….thanks a ton ….wish and pray we do well following this way of thinking…
    @soujanya.. i dnt brood over it….edo raasa anthe:)


  3. Dear Padmini,
    Your writing styles are so varied that you emerge as a very interesting and to some extent intriguing personality. A person having multiple persona and caliber within.
    Astrologically the person like you are called philosophically conditioned introverts who pose as if they are extrovert but deep within they are loners.
    I am amazed what you are :
    A person with sun sign Cancer with Virgo rising? (A person whose moon sign is Virgo). Sun sign Sagittarius with rising Aquarius or Libra?
    May be a Gemini, because you are able to see across the fogs of confusion with your penetrating style? May be a Leo sun sign with…
    Whatever you are, just remain the way you are. Remember fortune telling never created destinies but destined people invariably created history.
    Realize it and rise to the sky of success.


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