Mothers, Me & Myself… The Story of my Life
Yes! You read it right! I want the title to exactly sound and mean like Freud’s famous phrase. This will be a long one too. So any waiting work, half eaten food stuff, crying children needing nappy changes 😉 will need your instant attention before you proceed further. Like I’ve always mentioned, there are situations and people who jolt me out of my psychological slumber to blog. Something very close to that has been happening to me for about six months now. But it so happens that my little mind runs out of ideas to present the entire concept in an interesting way.
Quite sometime ago, I wrote about my mother here. I loved the affection that followed in the coming days after I wrote it. It was not a literary work of great importance and it definitely doesn’t have any fancy words. I wrote it in a fit of emotion when my mom was away on a vacation in the US. Here is the link if you never read it.
Today I wanted to write about ‘her’ again.The reason being, she’s on a vacation in India and I miss her :).I have been living with a ‘full-time’ mother and her little monster for the last six months. The mother being my sister and the little monster being my niece. In all these six months of staying with them in the same house, there were many times during which I asked my sister some very stupid questions and made some equally foolish statements. Samples 😉
“Akka (sister in Telugu), “Did I ever behave like this?”
“OMG! Akka, did I ever talk so much?” ( I still talk that much! and people who know me know that well :))
“Akka! Please why does she ask so many questions?” (which I still do too!!!)
“Akka! Why can’t you just make her stop her tantrums?”
My sister always had awesome answers waiting for me. Except that they all ‘looked’ the same. She always had this typically similar ‘patient’ smile paired with an “OMG! Don’t even ask me!” kind of look. Every time my feeling would be the same too! I wish I could kill her for that patience! I definitely don’t know where she gets if from.
My niece has this habit of being over concerned about her mother all the time. It went off to such heights today that I asked my sister , ” Tune bhagwan se kya poocha? Bacchi chahiye, ya Body guard chahiye? ”
( What did you ask God for? Baby or a body guard? )
Ya ya! I know, I am a Telugu, but we have no other option but to choose Hindi as our colloquial language at home. She picked up Telugu and English too fast. Now she repeats Hindi with ease except that she still cant associate meanings to it. The day she can do that, Tamil is our next solace for a free communication in her presence. My niece is a very good example of an adorable kid. I attribute the entire credit of it to my sister.
Eleven years back my sister moved to the US away from a loving family into a struggle she called ‘MS’. She took herself through the struggle of a job to help me and my brother feel secure through out our education. Spent all her savings on trying to make me feel good at the worst times in my life. Quit a high paying job to be a ‘willingly stay at home mom’ . Today she is going back to school to study in a doctoral program. I often asked her why she kept testing herself all the time through every phase of life. She has the same patient smile with very few words. I wonder where she gathered all the courage from. But the wonder gives way to something called ‘will’ she learnt from my mother.
I lived for 23 years with my mother.And I always thought only my mother was capable of handling things/situations/crisis so adeptly. For me crisis management is managing a 4 year old kid with no noise and keeping a home happy. And I thought no ‘sister’ could do it. I thought it was only the job of a ‘mother’ . What I failed to take a note of in the last six months was the way a sister was being a mother.
And today if I have a problem/crisis/a situation I cannot handle all by myself, I am utterly shocked and surprised at my sister’s competence in handling the entire thing for me. I don’t seem to miss my mother because I am shocked at the similarities they share in handling crisis! Unbelievable! And when I talk to my brother during any of his tough times, he is shocked at how similar I am to my mother in the way I approach the entire thing.
For me the everyday life I live, is what these ‘mothers’ breath into my life.So much of patience, competence and persistence! Their way of hitting hard back at life is so inspiring and motivating that every problem looks like a paper cone in a strong wind.
Neither my mother nor my sister are the only two women on this entire earth who are special this way. Every mother who can care for another human life, nurture to see it grow and flourish will be the same angel.The best gift every mother can cherish for a life time is a little patient hearing, a little more active talking and a little tiny more amount of love. Yes, sometimes moms do need a stern, “Mom! Calm down and stop worrying!!!” also.
PS(Sorts): The men I know, have been the biggest support to these ‘mothers’. So it will be unfair not to give them the credit here. I am glad you guys were around for them 🙂
Yes! it is me and my niece in the pic. Photographed by my twin 🙂
BTW, it’s such a coincidence that she blogged about ‘motherhood ‘ too and I just read it while finishing this up.