Yeah ! Yeah! I know I am getting regular on my blog 🙂
Question:Why this story today?
Answer: A dear friend and critic asked me why I am so positive when I write so much about super negative things that people loathe.
Point 1: I am not ‘so’ positive.
Point 2: I have super bad days to such heights that my family and friends end up having bad times along with me 🙂
Point 3: I keep away from blogging in ‘those’ days and spend my time doing all sorts of DIY projects, singing to myself and reading many many books.
Point 4: I restrain from talking it out even with my best friends because, at the end of the day, any problem which is not a nature’s fury, is a mere human creation and it will vanish with time.
I get constant criticism and encouragement for my work these days. And it is a huge push for me. Many a time, I receive anonymous emails from strangers who write such mean things against me that I almost begin to guess who it is by the way they utter their frustrations:) . As much as I enjoy keeping my Heera’s anonymous, I love receiving these anonymous e-mails too.I read the nameless e mail a couple of times, guess who it could be and press the ‘delete’ button. Well, it’s simple. When you meet a lot of people, and read(from books or people), you are bound to have some opinions of your own. There are equal chances of a good number of those people you meet to end up being your well-wishers( antagonists in my language).You know who says what after sometime.
Initially I used to sulk over those mean words uttered against me for so many days that I would even forget my own goodness and begin to hate myself. This was ‘me’ many years back and this is everybody, everyday, everywhere on this earth.Unless, we devise a way around it.I know it hurts to be misunderstood, misjudged and be condemned. A very few can know that unless they have been pushed to that limits where it becomes obvious.
I was misjudged once and I paid a ‘huge’ price for it . Many times after those five years, I have been misunderstood so badly that it no longer hurts. There comes a point within yourself , beyond which hurtful, spiteful words seem minuscule.
When I look at the life in US, and in India, I see such a huge difference in the way people’s minds are shaped.
The reasons, discussions, debates on attitudes and lifestyles is not really important. People and their attitudes are a result of the environment they grow up in. I remember having read a line in my psychology text book back in 2005. That line never left my mind. I have quoted it a zillion times till now. To my patients, students, juniors, friends and to everyone who has met me till date. I am always quoting it.
” The effect of environment on a growing human mind and personality is profound.Growing is the key word here. If a human chooses to let his/her mind grow, they are always learning. Once physical age becomes your scale for intellectual maturity, you stop growing. “
When you wait a minute, and re-read, or recollect the spiteful words, hurtful actions, you have so many answers within yourself. What causes the instant surge of hurt is the most common enemy of every human who has walked on this earth.
The ‘I, Me, Myself’ .
Once you begin to master that ‘minute’ patience of a minute in any uncomfortable situation, you are leading yourself onto a path of happiness and peace.
In the US, the best thing I learn is the way people never want to ‘fret’ about anything. I fail in assigning a definite term for it. But when we Indians begin to learn from them, we should not be naive to imbibe that attitude directly into our lives and cultures. Direct application of those attitudes, which do not come to you naturally in your environment, will be such huge misfits that, we will realize the damage only at the aftermath.
When I call Yesterday a Dream, I know it is not. I have lived through it. I have felt it. I I have struggled my way through it. But like a dream, I choose to keep the goodness of it, be aware of the meanness of it and trash the unkindness of it.
Yesterday was Life’s another dream,
Unwilling to let me into living’s real stream.
Do you ask me if I despise it?
I smile and say it was a learning disguising it 🙂